Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Letter Five: One-legged and brooding.


My Love,
            Naturally Benjamin could never take your place in the household—although he has been an immense help. He even taught little Seymour how to hunt. How is the war going? I hope all your appendages remain intact, seeing as how I have dreamed of your member every night this week (perhaps it’s the hormones.) Mrs. Goodwell next door just received word that her husband lost his left leg in a trench. She went on and on at tea today about how she could never imagine making love to him again. I told her she was being cruel. I suppose if you ever lost yours I would be aright with it. I have always wondered what it would be like mounting a one-legged torso. It would be wildly exciting and new. And let us be honest, if you lost your left leg, your right one would not be lonely. My belly has grown significantly in the past month! I have had to move on to a larger corset that only Ambrosia can manage to fit on me. And I only fainted once today! Well darling, I cannot dream more fondly of the day that I will finally get to caress your sweet rouged face. ‘Til then!

Your bulbous darling,
Muffy

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